I recently took a break from writing. After struggling through my current WIP for months I decided I needed to walk away. I wasn’t sure how long the break would last. At times I thought I was completely done. Healing Touch and Off Leash were to be it – the only stories to go from brain to paper.
Trouble is – there are more fun stories lurking and they want out.
Why did I stop writing? Simple – my piss-poor negative attitude. You name it and I threw it at myself: my writing sucks, these stories are fluffy dribble, no one is buying them so why bother, etc, etc.
No amount of positive reviews or sale bursts could snap me out of it. In my mind - I sucked.
Even this happened on Amazon UK: (note the title below mine.)
Didn’t matter. I walked away.
Weeks and months went by and I was able to keep the unwritten stories quiet. Then I thought of a few new ones. I liked them. Really liked them.
I scanned my latest WIP (a fun vampire novella) and remembered why I really liked that one so many months ago.
Then two things happened
- First, I read a few posts on Chuck Wendig’s blog. He is an in-your-face type author. No mincing words – just unfiltered thoughts. And he swears – a lot! The first article I read was 25 Things Every Writer Should Know. There are many others. Brace yourself then go check out his website.
My favorite takeaways from that article were: “Your journey to becoming a writer is all your own.” Thank God someone whacked me over the head with this. I was so worried about doing things the right way, best way, their way – that I forgot it needs to be my journey. It’s also OK if that journey looks completely different than someone else’s. I’ve heard these same words from other friends and family, but for some reason Chuck just slapped me with it.
“…whatever value you give [your writing], that’s what value it will have… [if] You hate your work, that’s what it’s worth.” Well said.
“Even the roughest stone is made smooth by agitation, motion, erosion. Yeah, the writing life can be tough, but it needs to be. Edits are good. Rejections are, too.” I love this concept.
and finally…
“It’s all too easy to start something and not finish it…. Stop abandoning your children. You wouldn’t call yourself a runner if you quit every race you ran halfway through… Finishing is a good start. Stop looking for the escape hatch; pretend your work in progress just plain doesn’t have one.” So my new attitude is – stopping and giving up on a story is not an option.
- Second, I realized something big – something mind blowing.
My work is not a high-priced piece of art that will hang in the Guggenheim nor is it the latest, must-have fashion item walking down the runway in Bryant Park. I need to stop thinking of my stories as needing to be equal to Nora Roberts or David Baldacci in order to appear on the shelves of Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
By thinking that way I was freaking myself out – to the point of constantly giving up.
Sure there are indie authors hitting it big, getting contracts, and making lots of money. But there are many, many more who are just peddling their wares. They have fun, interesting stories to be told and a handful of readers are buying them.
Have you heard of Etsy? It’s on online shop for crafters. Artists making hats, shirts, watercolor paintings, jewelry, or a million other items set up shop and sell. It’s a virtual craft sale – a swap meet – a yard sale without the yard.
I need to start thinking about my ebooks in this light. An Etsy seller who has beautiful hand-painted t-shirts isn’t trying to get a spot in the fashion week lineup between Michael Kors and Donna Karan. She’s not emailing Bloomingdales in hopes of them setting up a section of the store for her. (well, maybe she is) She’s offering her items for anyone walking by. She’s cut out her little corner of the artistic world and will gladly produce and sell her items to anyone who is interested.
Does this make sense?
I’m going to continue to write my stories – set up my card table on the various online retailers, and sell my jams and jellies. Hopefully I’ll get a few sales and comments from buyers saying how much they love them. I’ll learn and grow from the people who dislike my ebooks. I plan to put out only the best and have all be well made and presentable (i.e. editing and cover art). I will not be hoping for or stressing about the lack of a dedicated end cap space in a chain of grocery stores.
Some self-published authors find themselves in the spotlight. But actually, many of us will remain crafters at the middle school art fair. To me, taking on this new attitude will help silence that awful, negative voice in my head saying, “You’ll never make it.” It can’t say that because I have made it. I’m enjoying my time with other crafters. I’m enjoying the experience – this experience of being at the fair selling my crocheted pot holders.
3 for $5.
~ Jenna
My Self-Published Titles:
This is SO important a thing to realize, and I’m glad you stumbled upon it. Thinking about Etsy was a huge inspiration for me as well. I LOVE Etsy! There is gorgeous art on there. Art that is loved, and appreciated, and cherished by people. And those artists – making knitted socks, art prints for walls, sewn Nook covers, jewelry, and handmade purses – they’re just making art, and putting it out there to be loved. How wonderful is that?!?
And I doubt many of them have ever questioned calling themselves artists. Or at least *I*, as a consumer, would never question calling them artists.
I don’t know how it happened, but writers as a whole (and not even just self-published ones) seem to have made ourselves such a high benchmark for the right to call ourselves artists. Or if not artists, even just worthwhile working writers.
Sorry for the super long comment, lol! This has been good for me to read, because I’m often in this same spot. I think it’s something a lot of writers struggle with.
And wow, I would be happy to even share a list with Elizabeth Gilbert, let alone top her! That is a proud moment right there, for sure!
Thanks Laura – you’re right, we would never question the lable of the artists and crafters on Etsy.
I never tried submitting my stories to big house publishers – I don’t know if I ever will. Like I said above, I’m happy offering my wares in a low key way. Life is too short to be stressed. That’s my new attitude and I hope to keep it.
~ Jenna
Such a good point! You have to make peace with yourself at times. Right now I’ve got 4 or 5 projects on the backburner, cause I kept beating my head against them, and the joy of writing had evaporated. So I’m writing a long involved fanfic based on a lot of flashfic pieces I’ve already written for the joy of it, the reminder of why I write, and to get back into rhythm (and maybe, the reviews and asspats are needed to rebuild my sense of “you’re doing it right.”) It’s made a lot of people happy this month. I’ve only posted 10 short chapters, and I’ve had over 9k hits. That helps restore my sense of balance. Yes, I can write.
Eventually, I’ll go back to the novel I have in draft, and the half finished story that’s got great potential, and about 3/4ths drafted or write another short story about my beloved character Hawk or any of the other works I have sitting on my system. Maybe I’ll finally put together that poetry book. But right now, I am at that rare moment when I’ve made peace with my writing bug, and that’s a good place to start the new year.
I’m amazed at how easy it is for us to write what we consider ‘unimportant’ or side writing. They aren’t our real projects. It’s just practice or something we throw together. We breeze through it without stress.
Like me and my blog posts. I can crank them out without a care in the world. No fret to stress.
It’s craziness. I’m determined to have a better attitude about my fiction.
Would you be willing to share the link to your fanfic? I Know you sent it to me before – I’ve lost it.
sure!
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1313047/
Jenna, I am so happy for you, I’m in tears. What a beautiful, wonderful blog post. Great comparison to Etsy.
I was just saying to a novice author the other day that there are many singers in this world way better than Lady Gaga, but she’s made it because she’s got an in-your-face attitude. We’re not that kind of people. We’re the local garage band that plays in the bowling alley lounge and church fairs and has a loyal following that always comes to hear us and buys our CDs. And that’s an accomplishment in and of itself.
You’ve got talent and that’s all I’m going to say about that.
Margaret Lake
Mid-list and proud of it
I’ll be in your garage band any day, Margaret! You’ve been such a wonderful support to me! Your writing habits are inspiring as well.
So now we have artwork, potholders, and music at the fair!! What a great place to be. I’m happy to be a part of it with such wonderful people.
~ Jenna
Hope you’ll let me beta read your next one, Jenna.
Absolutely!! You give great feedback.
Jenna
Great post! After 15 years of writing privately, and now publishing, I can confirm the same feelings. Still get them, but now when I hear ‘you suck’ I say “Where? Show me?” Now it’s just the grammar nazis I worry about..
I’m horrible at spelling, punctuation, and grammar. I let that go a while back by hiring a good editor. I feel a writer can have a great imagination, weave fun and interesting stories and still suck at mechanics. The key is to NOT release a book with those mistakes. Producing a fun, imaginative story is the basis and can’t be hired out or learned in a class.
I come up with the image and paint the picture – my editor seal coats and frames it. Together we make a wonder thing.
By the way, my guy is Neal Hock and I highly recommend him. So pleasant and easy to work with – http://www.hockseditingservices.com/
I always feel like kind of a punk for coming onto someone’s blog and having a differing opinion, but I think there’s a lot to be said for having lofty goals (and I say this as someone who spent years and years training for something only to realize I wasn’t talented enough to achieve it), because they can motivate you and drive you to levels of success you’d never know otherwise.
But I guess it depends on what writing means to you. Do you want a hobby? Or do you want a career? If the former will make you happy, then there’s nothing wrong with that. But I believe you have to have a different mindset if you want the latter. Sometimes it appears that some people luck into success, but there’s usually a lot of drive and years and years of hard work behind those stories.
Anyway, you do what’s right for you, but the sales and reviews you’ve gotten thus far make me think it’d be a shame if you “settled” for a back aisle at Etsy this early into the game.
Different opinions make for good discussion. I’m glad you stopped by to leave your thoughts.
I see what you’re saying. By settling an author runs the risk of – creating mediocre stories, not working hard to make them interesting, putting out poorly edited work, and forgetting them once they are posted for sale. If we think of our stories as garage sale junk – they may very well end up as that. (borrowing what Chuck Wendig says)
I hear you – but for now I am needing to adopt this low key philosophy. Thinking of better and bigger things was getting me no where. I first started writing in 2008 and had big dreams – appearing in Entertainment Weekly Magazine and being on lists with Sophie Kensilla or Jennifer Cruise. But the fear and enormity of that task froze my ability to write or even sit at the computer. At this point I have to alter my thoughts. Maybe a few years from now I will have more confidence.
You’re right – goals are good and we shouldn’t settle. My goals for 2012 are to write more, stop abandoning my WIPS, and stress about it WAAAAAAAY less. By doing that I hope to accomplish a secondary goal – release more work.
Maybe five years from now my goal will once again be to have a title of mine appear in Entertainment Weekly Magazine.
Thanks for stopping, Lindsay. Please offer up your opinions anytime.
~ Jenna
Ah yes, burnout. Writing and publishing takes a lot out of you. It requires a huge amount of energy and at various times, belief, disbelief … but always stamina.
Glad you took a break and are back to it. It’s the way of things.
This is good news, Jenna! I know my wife will be happy to know that there will be more stories from you. She loved both of your books.
-Neal
She’s welcome to a complimentary copy of all my future titles. After you edit them of course.
(Neal is my awesome editor. At the risk of making him even more busy than he already is, his website is – http://www.HocksEditingServices.com )